The Set Up

"I'm taking my girlfriend out to dinner. To a place on Newbury Street," my favorite cashier at the Dunks near my office announced the Friday of Valentine's Day weekend.

Wow, a 19-year-old taking his girlfriend to a place on Newbury street? This kid's smooth. I couldn't even get my ex to kick in when I had to buy the Plan B pill because of a mistake on his part. Yes, his part. Ms. Dunks Boy is a lucky girl!

"That's so cute!" I say, and I really do mean it. This kid's a total sweetheart, and I bet they're the cutest couple ever.

He hands me my large iced tea with 2 lemons and 5 splendas. "You doing anything for Valentine's Day?"

"Nah," I say waving him off.  "I don't have a valentine this year. I'm hanging out with some friends. You know, keeping it low key."

His eyes widen and he looks over toward his manager. "Hey, Lance, she doesn't have a valentine. Neither do you, right?"

My own eyes widen, but in horror. Oh jeez. I kind of wish my iced tea was an iced wine.

The manager looks at Dunks Boy and then at me. "No I don't have a valentine."

On that note..."You guys have a lovely weekend," I shout in a puberty-ish voice. And, I bust out of there as fast as I possibly can while trying not to knock down any of the other people in line.

Laughter bursts out of me as soon as I'm far enough away. Wow. I did't know whether to be mortified or extremely flattered. The kid was obviously looking out for me, but at the same time, I kind of wanted to die a little bit. What about flattafied?

We Need a Goddess, Too

I became fascinated with Greek mythology back in 9th grade English class. We each had to pick a god or goddess and craft an oral report on him/her. Being the hopeless romantic that I am, I wanted Aphrodite. Unfortunately, so did the vast majority of the other girls in my class, and since luck wasn't ever on my side (at least it wasn't my entire high school life), Aphrodite was quickly snatched up before it was my turn to sign up, and alas, I got stuck with Pandora. Who actually wasn't a goddess at all-just the supposed cause of all the pain and suffering in the world. Mythology's Eve. Mythology's devil woman. Lovely.

But, through my research, I learned to like Pandora; she wasn't a bad kid, just curious and really really wanted to open that damn box. And years later when I discovered feminism, I would question why "women" are always getting blamed for stuff. Eve, Pandora, Angelina Jolie. I mean, hello, I'm a huge Jennifer Aniston fan and personally think she rules, but why are people all up on Angelina's shit for "stealing" Brad Pitt. He's the one who was technically still married when he started banging Ms. Tomb Raider.

But, I digress. This blog isn't about male bashing, although I will most likely rant about some of my bad dates from time to time. It's about the fact that the Ancient Greeks left out one groovy goddess, and that would be me. My name is Nerdrodite (Kyle to my friends), and I am the Goddess of Nerds.

I've been a nerd my whole life, and it wasn't until college that I truly embraced it. And, now I'm proud to be one. In fact, we're taking over the world, starting with Hollywood. Just ask my para social boyfriend, Jason Segel. I mean, the guy owns like 200 puppets. That's pretty nerdy, right? Yet, he's insanely popular, adorable, and makes my knees weak.

So, silly Ancient Greece, you may have forgotten us, but I haven't. I shall step up to the plate and be Nerdrodite: The Goddess of Nerds.