Friday, April 8, 2011

A Little Slice of Happy

So, this post is from my old blog, but it's such a fun story I just had to repost. :)

I lost my grandmother back in June, and it sucked. (I know this seems depressing so far, but read me out. It gets better, I promise.) You see, most kids see their grandparents as kind old people who show up at Christmas with warm cookies and a hand-knitted sweaters. But, I saw my Gram as a friend, a pal, and a confidant.

My brother and I were lucky enough to have spent oodles of time with Gram and Gramps when we were munchkins. They babysat us every Monday night while my mom went back to school and my dad worked afternoons.

I have wonderful memories of spaghetti dinners (or sketty as Gramps called it), Wheel of Fortune, dunkin cookies, and picture books.

Gram used to put me on her lap and read me these wonderful tales about this freckled little kid named Sam and his group of friends. My favorite charatcer was Jenny, who was kind of a bitch, but she had a kick ass closet of dress up clothes. I would’ve put up with her if she let me play in that closet.

I lived for these books. In fact, I made Gram read them to me over and over and over and over again. She only had three of them because they were out of print and extremely hard to find. According to my mom, Gram used to scour the bookstores in downtown Chicago hoping to find more. But, I was content and kept on rereading them.

As I grew older our time together began to consist of other things: Golden Girls reruns, shopping trips to Kohl’s (She was always up for helping me pick out a cute girlie shirt.), phone calls about my disastrous life, and what happened on the most recent episode of Ugly Betty. And, so I forgot about Sam and Jenny…until this June, when she passed away.

The day she died, I went over to Sassy’s for comforting. Unfortunately, his way of offering support consisted of getting laid and then telling me he was thinking of moving out of state. Another reason why I’m soooooo much better off without his hairy ass, but I digress.

As I lie (did I use this right? Lie and lay always screws me up.) on his child-sized bed, staring up at his stupid Spiderman posters (Yeah, he actually had them. Dude was 30. I mean, that’s cute when you’re like 12, but a grown man with freaking Spiderman posters? Should've been a major red flag.) trying to hold back the tears brewing from such an emotional day, I randomly thought of how special those times when Gram would read me those stories were. The things you realize when someone’s gone, huh?

So, just three weeks later I found myself on my Mumsie’s couch, grieving over Sassy’s decision to throw me back into the ocean of single women, and once again Sam and Jenny popped into my head.

At that moment I just knew I had to get my hands on those books. The problem was, I could not remember what exactly they were called. My usually awesome memory had failed me, and all I could remember was that they were about Sam and Jenny, and Jenny was a bitch with cute clothes.

So, I emailed my cousins to see if Gram ever read the books to them. Eureka! She had! But, no one else could recall the name of the series either.

My mom and I searched the internet for hours, attempting different search terms. Nothing. I was crushed. Finding these books had become an obsession. I just had to recapture that part of my childhood. I wanted those memories back so badly.

During one of my searches I randomly stumbled upon some research paper about teaching kids to share, and the writer quoted Jenny Learns a Lesson, which just happened to be my favorite of the three books Gram had! Yay for me and my Google search engine skills.

But, I was faced with the problem Gram had years ago. These books were still out of print. The only way I could get them would be to buy used copies from people on Amazon. I really didn’t want to do that. I’m not very trusting. But, I was content that I had at least found them, and if I decided to take the leap of Amazon faith, I knew I could always change my mind and order them later on. I knew their names, and I knew they were out there…somewhere.

Three months later, the day before my little brother’s wedding in fact, my cousin wrote on my FB wall: I have a surprise for you.

I seriously had an instant vision of her handing me the books and me crying. It would be so freakin’ cool if that happened! I thought to myself. And, you just might be a little psychic.
 
She arrived at the wedding, and I pretty much attacked her. “Where’s my surprise?!?!?!” And get this! She made me wait for over two hours before revealing what she had for me. How mean is that? ;) K-you know I love you. But, that was so not fun.

So, we trudged out into the rainy September afternoon and what does she pull out of the back of my aunt’s minivan?

The books! All three of them! In their bookish glory!

Apparently, my aunt found them while cleaning out Gram’s house and was about to give them away to the Salvation Army when my awesome little cuz spotted them, remembering that I had asked her about them months ago.

I hugged Sam and Jenny’s adventures to my chest and wiped away a couple of tears. I can’t even describe the feelings of happiness that washed over me at that moment. Plus, I think I’m psychic now. Maybe I can get my own hotline.

That’s a pretty freakin’ sweet story, don’t ya think? ;)
 

Thursday, March 24, 2011

The Set Up

"I'm taking my girlfriend out to dinner. To a place on Newbury Street," my favorite cashier at the Dunks near my office announced the Friday of Valentine's Day weekend.

Wow, a 19-year-old taking his girlfriend to a place on Newbury street? This kid's smooth. I couldn't even get my ex to kick in when I had to buy the Plan B pill because of a mistake on his part. Yes, his part. Ms. Dunks Boy is a lucky girl!

"That's so cute!" I say, and I really do mean it. This kid's a total sweetheart, and I bet they're the cutest couple ever.

He hands me my large iced tea with 2 lemons and 5 splendas. "You doing anything for Valentine's Day?"

"Nah," I say waving him off.  "I don't have a valentine this year. I'm hanging out with some friends. You know, keeping it low key."

His eyes widen and he looks over toward his manager. "Hey, Lance, she doesn't have a valentine. Neither do you, right?"

My own eyes widen, but in horror. Oh jeez. I kind of wish my iced tea was an iced wine.

The manager looks at Dunks Boy and then at me. "No I don't have a valentine."

On that note..."You guys have a lovely weekend," I shout in a puberty-ish voice. And, I bust out of there as fast as I possibly can while trying not to knock down any of the other people in line.

Laughter bursts out of me as soon as I'm far enough away. Wow. I did't know whether to be mortified or extremely flattered. The kid was obviously looking out for me, but at the same time, I kind of wanted to die a little bit. What about flattafied?

Sunday, March 20, 2011

We Need a Goddess, Too

I became fascinated with Greek mythology back in 9th grade English class. We each had to pick a god or goddess and craft an oral report on him/her. Being the hopeless romantic that I am, I wanted Aphrodite. Unfortunately, so did the vast majority of the other girls in my class, and since luck wasn't ever on my side (at least it wasn't my entire high school life), Aphrodite was quickly snatched up before it was my turn to sign up, and alas, I got stuck with Pandora. Who actually wasn't a goddess at all-just the supposed cause of all the pain and suffering in the world. Mythology's Eve. Mythology's devil woman. Lovely.

But, through my research, I learned to like Pandora; she wasn't a bad kid, just curious and really really wanted to open that damn box. And years later when I discovered feminism, I would question why "women" are always getting blamed for stuff. Eve, Pandora, Angelina Jolie. I mean, hello, I'm a huge Jennifer Aniston fan and personally think she rules, but why are people all up on Angelina's shit for "stealing" Brad Pitt. He's the one who was technically still married when he started banging Ms. Tomb Raider.

But, I digress. This blog isn't about male bashing, although I will most likely rant about some of my bad dates from time to time. It's about the fact that the Ancient Greeks left out one groovy goddess, and that would be me. My name is Nerdrodite (Kyle to my friends), and I am the Goddess of Nerds.

I've been a nerd my whole life, and it wasn't until college that I truly embraced it. And, now I'm proud to be one. In fact, we're taking over the world, starting with Hollywood. Just ask my para social boyfriend, Jason Segel. I mean, the guy owns like 200 puppets. That's pretty nerdy, right? Yet, he's insanely popular, adorable, and makes my knees weak.

So, silly Ancient Greece, you may have forgotten us, but I haven't. I shall step up to the plate and be Nerdrodite: The Goddess of Nerds.